


Ausgehe.

by AnxiousGremlin



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:32:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19058095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousGremlin/pseuds/AnxiousGremlin
Summary: I’m drowning and I don’t care:





	Ausgehe.

I used to be very comfortable with the monotonous silence that covered me days and weeks and months and years. The silence had something precious with it; it brought calm to my body, the anxiety building inside me a little bit slower, a little bit weaker.   
But things are not eternal. My beautiful, precious silence was broken by a man.   
Suddenly I was surrounded with sounds and colors. At first they didn’t seemed as bad as they were. There were laughters and cries and everything was made of an odd pink, pale purple and the type of orange the sun brings with it at mornings. And he was at the middle of that with his sad eyes and shaky hands.  
At first I thought I had acted because of pity. I thought I hated the way his eyes traveled around the room without finding anything to comfort him. I thought I hated the way he used to squeeze into the most dark and tiny places so he wouldn’t y’all with anybody. I though I hated how his skinny legs pressed against his body when we thought nobody was paying any attention. I thought I hated the permanent sad expression on him.   
So I tried to help. I wouldn’t let him hide on his dark place, nor cry or talk nasty things about the life that he lived.   
And he stated smiling and laughing and suddenly he stopped being the guy I first met, and he started being the guy I think he wanted to be.   
At the end I figured out that I had, at some point, started to love him. Even when he wasn’t happy. I was so full of love that I remember it filling my lungs, suffocating me.  
But love is not eternal. It ends.   
I didn’t like the man he becomed. He was selfish, a liar, and he changed the way he talked about life and started talking shit about people instead.   
The pink and the purple and the orange became blue and gray and black. The laughter and the cries of fun became tears and crying, lots of crying.  
My world was suddenly full of sounds I hated with all my heart.   
<>  
And it came. Slowly, almost a little too slow.   
But it came.   
And now I’m with a guy that enjoys the silence almost as much as me.   
And I think I like him.


End file.
